[October 24, 2007 @ 1:27am] hi. i have a new one now. swanxsongx add me or something i guess Comment

variations of the Y-word [November 04, 2006 @ 1:32am] [ mood | swan song ] today i grabbed photosynthesis by the stomata and said "you're mine, bitch". paradox of the day: truth is a lie. i am tutoring a 9 year old boy every thursday starting next week and even though i am not getting paid enough for it, i am very excited. it is beautiful to watch a child learning to read and write. i have been obsessively/compulsively editing everything lately- especially the abstract. i would've said this to you instead. bri emma and i took stouffville by storm and left a little music ringing in nooks of "For the Love of Jo". if it was just me, a microphone and a wooden stool for the rest of my life. Comment

automatic (supersonic) hypnotic [October 30, 2006 @ 2:16am] [ mood | unnatual curves ] when i woke up this morning, ballantrae was beautiful. Soft white light lit up the cottage white casing of my windows and i rolled out of bed feeling the benefits of daylight savings. it was snowing- at least, that is what the big bay window in my living room told me. i felt nostalgia shoot up through the floor, tickling my calves and the small of my back and the natural curve of my neck. i'm kicking with my legs but at the same time i'm holding on. my grip keeps slipping and my legs are stronger from years of ballet, so: Goodbye i say. in four photobooth pictures: Thanks, that was fun. Doctor Dictionary hasn't filled my inbox with a word for this yet. today, amongst many irrelevant revelations, i learned that diabetes can cause erectile dysfunction and i win at procrastinating. (even my intitiative turns out to be procrastination in vain) listing and planning won't get me anywhere, so goodbye mcgill and hello bishops. Read (3) Comment

Jabber [September 24, 2006 @ 1:29pm] [ mood | rainy fall sunday warm ] [ music | Portishead ] x I wish i was still taking a history course sometime this year. x I've worked two weddings this weekend and finally saw dancing asians at one of them (definitely the best perk next to the free Jim Cuddy concert I worked). x The bride at the other wedding got drunk and danced by herself and puked in the foyer while her new husband drove off with another woman. x I can't wait for my room to be finished so I can refill it with enough time to enjoy it before I pack it all up to go away. x I am definitely going away. x I'm thinking University, Africa, more university, more traveling. x If I left right now, well, I could do it. x I love watching the seasons change from my bedroom window. x Right now I really want to go downtown, drink nice coffee, and walk around aimlessly. x Yesterday my mom said I was silly. I so clunningly replied: Your mom's silly. x Can we all just get together and drink, drank, drunk- please? x Gilmore Girls is this Tuesday. x The trip to the Zoo on Friday was the best idea we've had all year. x I love being seventeen. x I am constantly finding myself surprised by time. How is it 3 o'clock? How is it Sunday? How is it fall? How are we in grade 12? x Enough. x Let's leave out all conclusions, shall we? x It's raining ( our fiery fingers ) Read (15) Comment

[September 20, 2006 @ 9:29pm] [ music | theme song ] Sex & the City boxsets may very well cost me my university education and my future. Read (15) Comment

for me [August 30, 2006 @ 7:02pm] [ mood | dry ] [ music | the police ] the smell of stale gasoline is stuck to my clothes, all caught up in my hair and hidden under my fingernails. i'll miss the heat and the allergies and sore wrists and rough hands. today i had a rock stuck under my shirt right where my nipple is and it looked like i was only chilly on the right side. carly court, carly court- you're looking awfully tired these days. summer has come and gone by accident, it seems. back to work, back to school. you tire so easily. ( table,chair,bed,cool,else,other,sleep,face,mouth,breath,tongue ) i like to speak the honest truth while in motion. moving vehicles leave my words, good or bad, surfing in the wind. Read (15) Comment

Hello, friends [August 22, 2006 @ 8:56pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | Serena Ryder ] In honour of my 17th birthday, I am hosting a "Bring something musical and let's get drunken, shall we?" party. Come to ballantrae! This Friday at 42 Iroquois Drive, arrive whenever. There will be dip and christmas lights and lawn chairs. The stars are pretty awesome over here, too. So come, or i will be drinking beer and playing guitar in my backyard by myself (which is fine too). Read (24) Comment

[August 15, 2006 @ 8:17pm] [ mood | rough hands & green tea ] [ music | the JT-Dad duo ] Oh, i am just here. Basking, bathing in this bittersweet state they call comfort. Here and there, I've been to montreal and back. I've been to bri's for catch up, anne's for music and robyn's for girl-talk. Yesterday the boys let me ease back into work so i ended up picking garbage up and down woodbine, listening to my iPod, getting paid 10 dollars per hour. Today i napped in the back seat and mark said "carly slept with me! carly slept with me!" We rested in the shade and watched cumulo nimbus clouds slide across the sky in the wind. We made friendship bracelets out of grass and mine stayed on the longest. We talked about mark's womanizing ways and andrew's jaw dropped because those kinds of things are impressive to boys. Oh! if i could explain the joy and comfort i get when my father sings along with james taylor, well- that would be the day. JT finished a song and my father said, "well, this is a joy!" he smiled and kissed my mom. I've been in one of those moods lately where i give my mom a kiss on the cheek after dinner and i give my dad a hug before bed and they stand there a little surprised for a minute and then they tell me they love me too. I could have done the only child thing, but i miss my sisters. This is my first time not visiting camp since i was 10, they are there without me. I've started walking around with a little note-pad that someone dubbed as a make-shift journal. It is for writing down things that pop into my head. It is also for intoxicated doodles of a drunk, pregnant (en seigne) darien. It was in my purse all week and now it is lost. Today, while trimming along 16th Avenue, i became inspired by a discussion in the truck and began planning a kick-bum essay on chivalry in the 21st century. This is a note to self. ( Of Montreal Of Montreal ) Read (20) Comment

[July 29, 2006 @ 1:31am] because there is an ice-cap waiting for me on monday, i can't call. (just looking out for my best intrests, my pride and my caffeine cravings at first break) come to the beaches jazz festival with me and we will swing dance in the streets. Read (7) Comment

here's one [July 13, 2006 @ 9:07pm] [ mood | horrorshow ] So, my boots are not waterproof. Yesterday i spent 8 hours in the rain with soggy socks and soggy toes. Today it was hot, hot, hot so we did what we could and spent our "spare" time saving little froggies from the wrath of the lawn-mower, reading/napping under trees and laughing about the vulgarity and truth in an old eddy murphy bit that rob brought in. I keep A Clockwork Orange in my purse and only read it at work when i don't feel like being social. I have met more people sitting in a corner reading than when i am standing in a conversation circle. Today a neat guy with dreadlocks and piercings walked over and introduced himself. I now find myself thinking in Nadsat, O my brothers. Oh, a bus driver pulled over while i was trimming the waiting area and asked me if i 'wanted a ride' in a suggestive tone. Building building. The more i wait, the more i play piano. and the more i play, the worse i feel about ripping song after song off the internet. My dad says he is proud of me (the piano, not the ripping). The waiting is almost over (although, i can now only remeber the little things like your eyes) and it's all downhill from there. I have recently been falling asleep to the Amelie soundtrack. It makes me have playful dreams and wake up refreshed- ready for adventure. Read (7) Comment

[July 05, 2006 @ 8:56pm] [ mood | lead limbs ] [ music | the streets ] hi. hello. i hope you all are pleased to know that things aren't so bad after all. the sun was sunny, the breeze was cool and the boys were funny. my boots were heavy, but i didn't mind because my job makes me feel like a woman. up with the sun, i drink two cups of coffee. i wear pants, and boots with steel in the toe. i am in the sun, on the road, in the bushes, with muscle-y men that push me not-on-purpose (i will not be left behind). work is like school except i get paid and there is no homework to worry about when you just want to sit on the couch and relaaaaax. i am continually dreading these next twelve or so days. my book is just getting good after 4 months and 376 pages. people are leaving, people are coming home, people are going to continue to be away for a while still. i miss routine. a bit. i'm feeling creative and risque, on friday i decided to learn how to play the piano, and on saturday i was on my way. today i played a concert via telephone and another in my dining room. ( white lines on your mind ) i know what i want to be when i grow up. i want to be a rock star- with silver shoes. Read (35) Comment

[June 30, 2006 @ 4:22pm] No plans tomorrow? Plans tomorrow? It doesn't matter because your plans are now to come see Stand and Deliver! (Anne, Carly and Kenny) play. You can see us at The Strawberry Festival in Stouffville. (the best time of the year) Early afternoon. Call 647 286 9028 for details (that's me!) Milne Park Fireworks. 8:10 and then again at 9:30. Come come come, because not only do you get to hear some fine music, the strawberry festival is the best that stouffville has to offer. i love the strawberry festival, enough said. Read (2) Comment

Edit: An Account [June 28, 2006 @ 11:07pm] [ mood | Ma-a-a-a-arlboro ] [ music | Christene LeDoux ] Hey remeber that time? That time when nothing was or-i-gin-al. I could go for a gin and tonic on the back deck. This is unrealistic though, because there is no gin on my parent's wet table. Tonic is bland when there is no gin. Come on back gin. (I'm waiting, I'm waiting.) In a confused and lucid state, I rolled out of bed feeling like I had left an organ in a silver car the night before. Downstairs I walked, and without hesitation or formal preparation I inserted The Godfather Part II into my DVD player, and proceeded to view both discs, along with Part III consecutively following. All from the comfort of the left side of my couch. By myself, with notions of honour and family and murder to keep me company. I'm not sure what I did when the last frame faded, but eventually Bri came over and we watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. I asked my mom to rent it for me, so she bought it instead. We sat on the couch and ate sunflower seeds and popcorn and milk and Iced Tea. We brushed our teeth and fell into Ali's bed because it is big enough for two and Ali will be M.I.A. for the next two months. Talks are best after midnight, with shadows on the ceiling and shared sheets. Morning brought wandering and multiple trips to Second Cup. A group went to Jess's where much Strawberry Shortcake and homemade dip was consumed. Back porches and plastic furniture and Lays and canned beverages. Mom picked me up. I brought her shopping. This kind of mother-daughter activity is very rare, but it is always enjoyed by both parties. I keep her young in colours she would never pick out herself and she keeps me clothed when I have $3 in my bank accout.Frozen Yogurt for dinner, raspberry peach of course. We drove along the backstreets and she nodded along with the staccato, as a russian-born songstress filled the car and all the empty air it passed through. As she gave blood, I walked down main-street, unfazed by the threatening winds, and tested out Stouffville's new coffee shop, For the Love Of Joe. It is cute and comfortable and very trendy for a hicktown like Stouffville. I sipped an Iced Moccachino and read about Pride and Peaches on the big couch in the corner. When we got home, mom fainted on the driveway. "Ummm... how did i get here?" she told me when I asked her what it felt like. My dad brought her a granola bar because she needed it but she didn't want it. I brought up Nannie McPhee and we watched it together on her bed. This all just an effort. A splendid distraction. It is most discomforting, this feeling that stretches all the way across the Atlantic Ocean. Read (6) Comment

[June 22, 2006 @ 8:04pm] [ music | night of the living dead- tilly and the wall ] today i was impatient and high strung, girly-whirly in sweatpants. i love socks. i will move somewhere even further north than ballantrae so i can wear socks and sweaters all the time. i was watching cartoons with stacey earlier, and ian got trapped in school during a snowstorm. i realize summer's here and all, but i am a snow fairy and i want to go to the snow. i have been painting instead of studying for my math exam tomorrow. i spent a good half an hour working on a jaw-breaker that stacey ominously left on my pillow two months ago. it had sour gum in the middle. i love those kinds of surprises. surprise! surprises. impatient with a sweet-tooth, i shoved the entire 2.5 cm diameter into my mouth, until it all melted away into my molars and under my tongue. my lips are now dry with sugar and my tongue feels like sand-paper. impatient. ( save your money, kids ) the countdown to enslavement begins. i am bitter about my garunteed $400/ week because the good ones are leaving me for bigger and better places. my plans are to complain a lot and watch a lot of MTV mind junk. Stand and Deliver! will be busy on July 1st. Come see us at - Stouffville's Annual Strawberry Festival: clock tower, noon-ish - Milne Park (fireworks): 8:10pm and again at 9:30pm Read (12) Comment

[June 14, 2006 @ 6:04pm] [ mood | tummy grumbles ] [ music | maria taylor-leap year ] the simple things, small things, the nicey nice days where mother nature smiles and nods and opens her arms to reveal a big blue sky. i'm not high, nor am i low. i am coasting: energy efficient. ( on the sunny road ) summer, this. summer, that Read (22) Comment

[June 05, 2006 @ 5:20pm] [ mood | peaceful in and amongst chaos ] it was all i needed. ( there is a place ) Read (26) Comment

[May 22, 2006 @ 7:38pm] i found a peice of paper on the kitchen table- it was stacey's: My Dreams: That i will become a famous singer and dance onstage. My Fears: That someone will slip me some GHB. Read (9) Comment

if it was sunny, i'd probably be writing about flowers [May 19, 2006 @ 6:31pm] [ mood | saturated with trans fats ] [ music | the shins ] it's all just time, 'tick-tick-tock', until i can go away for a while. just for a little while, time enough to refresh from some of the boring classes and dreary weather and hectic schedules that have been making me walk around all uncomfortable like i have a really bad wedgie or something. (bitch, complain, its all just wasted breath wasting time...tick-tick-tock) my dad and i went to the Country Stop and got take out for dinner. fish and chips for him, chicken fingers and fries for me. mmmmm hometown grease. we came home and watched basketball even though neither of us really follow basket ball. the only reason we went to the country stop was because my mom is away, ali is at work and both of us are way too lazy to cook. what am i going to do next year when i have no one to cook for me or pay for my take out? i want to start taking bigger steps. ( count down ) livejournal is a joke. livejournal is a bore. Read (30) Comment

so, happy may! [May 02, 2006 @ 6:06pm] [ music | spring: allegro- vivaldi ] entries in my real journal have been short and sweet, just like this past month. spring is here and that means sun, skirts and smoothy-smooth legs! if i could, i would doodle tulips and budding leaves down the side of this page. or maybe i would free-hand and you could interpret my doodle to see how effectively i've filled up each month in my agenda with school and vocal and work and when i'm super-super lucky, friends. Note: just because i'm not there, it doesn't mean i don't want to be there. someone else just made plans for me faster( i don't make plaaaaans!) i am going to be a CIT at Arts Camp this year, incase you didn't know (which is unlikely because i've pretty much told the world already). i fell asleep smiling that night with the arrival of my acceptance letter and the bryan roman concert and a full day of "Lee-Na", my three lovlies who sing with me and regina spektor breaking my heart with 'fidelity'. that day, i also discovered that (kari)Na has a horrible sense of direction, the four of us are horrible j-walkers who stop in the middle of the road and Bryan Roman's pants are too tight. ( so here ) Read (28) Comment

mother nature likes to play with her yo-yo [April 20, 2006 @ 7:13pm] [ mood | slightly sun-burnt ] [ music | oleander- sarah harmer ] sporadic plans, breezy car rides and half-surprises are what have been keeping me going. keeping me going in a mechanical sort of way. there was no real easter weekend because i was stuck in a smelly room over-flowing with G2 hopefuls. luckily, there is a certain boy who is very good at lying, but i don't mind because i get taco-bell and a make-shift drive-in out of it. today i skipped (!) and mulled around in the sun with bri. we took turns taking pictures of eachother for various last minute projects and walked around with bare shoulders and sunglasses. my mom and i went to fabricland, which is now one of my favourite places in the whole world. i touched every peice of cloth and my mother literally had to pull me away from the stacks and stacks of tulle. i bought a pattern and some soft, pretty fabric and i plan on making a skirt to see if it really is cheaper to make my clothes and make them look good. i would really just love to live in fabricland and make everyone pretty things; sew disfunctional buttons in strange places, white cotton eyelet for everyone! yesterday, stand and deliver! was officially declared a band. ( inbetweens ) Read (48) Comment

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